I'm typing from my dad's computer because ... our computer crashed!!! This was the icing on the cake actually. The dryer has been out forever, the garage door quit working, and the coffee pot I just bought cracked. So, I quit drinking coffee for a week. It hurt at first, but I'm okay now. I pull the garage up and down with my incredible muscles. I don't spend all my free time on the computer so my house is really clean. Mom's still doing my laundry, but I may get a new-to-me dryer in a couple of days. All things work together for good and God is still the Sovereign Orchestrater of my life. My kids are well, my husband is taking me out tonight, and did I mention, my house is clean?!
I wont tell you how old she is. I will tell you she's in better shape than me and everyone still thinks we're sisters. Glad to have those genes! As a mother of five, she's been there and done that and is now an incredible support to me. Seriously, I was 15 months old when she had the twins, so when I whine about dragging three kids to the grocery store, she just smiles :) When the Bible says, "her children will rise up and call her blessed", I think that it implies, once they have kids and go, "My mom did that? She's incredible!" All that to say, my mom is pretty awesome. Love you, mom!
"...We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves; it is the last conceit to go. The only One Who understands us is God. The greatest curse in spiritual life is conceit. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say, 'Oh, I am so unworthy," because we shall know we are beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until He gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit, Jesus cannot expound a thing. He will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart..." ---My Utmost for His Highest
Sin is all around me: on the news, in my family and friends and enemies ... in me. Maybe it's just me, or maybe everyone rates themselves according to their sins and I tend to say I'm not so bad. It's astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves. The "smallest" sins are not small in the eyes of a righteous God. And, but for His grace, we may find ourselves in the midst of those "big" sins. I really want to get to the point where I am beyond the possibility of stating, "Oh, I am so unworthy," and then truly know God and truly be used of God. Twenty years from now I don't want my kids to say mom had it all together. I want them to say, mom daily depended on the Lord and sought Him out of necessity and raised us to do the same. I don't want them to preach the gospel, I want them to live the gospel. I want to protect them and teach them to guard their hearts against the "big" sins, but be just as sensitive and broken over the "little" ones. I think it may be true that the best moms don't "have it all together." The best moms are broken before the Lord. The best moms need help every day.
For a bridesmaid gift, Shannon made us CD's of her favorite female artists. I was playing it in the van the other day and a song with a dance beat came on. Hudson and Pierce started be-bopping in the back seat. Hudson hollered, "We're buckled in so we can't dance really good, but we can dance our heads like this [demonstration - turns his head sided to side three times then up and down three times] ... and this is how we dance our fingers [demonstration - arms flailing wildly with head bob]." I'll have to get some video of them "dancing their heads." It's a little crazy :)
Hudson greeted me after nap time today with a sweaty hug and kiss. "Mom, I just love you 700%! ... no, I mean 800%." ?! Pierce followed him out, sweaty and soaked diaper and crazy hair, "Mom, is Wayna asweep?" Yes, Wayna's asweep. "No, mom, you don't say Wayna and asweep. You say, Wayna is asweep." Alayna is asleep? "Yeah." I love how he talks.
Did I mention my dryer is broken. David took the back off of it and looked at it and even sucked some lint out of the crevices. He's learned to be pretty handy around our rickety house, but the dryer has outsmarted us. Anyway, I'm learning a new habit. I just say, "I trust you, Jesus" in response to whatever happens to me. I read this in my FAVORITE devotional book. It's a simple practice, but it has really helped me to start seeing Jesus in every situation and acknowledging His sovereign control over the universe ... even my dryer.
"When you view events from this perspective--through the Light of My universal Presence--fear loses it's grip on you. Adverse circumstances become growth opportunities when you affirm your trust in Me no matter what. You receive blessings gratefully, realizing they flow directly from My hand of grace. Your continual assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me." --Sarah Young (Is 40:10-11)
It's amazing to me that Almighty God's hand of grace is open to me. Did I mention my 4-year-old loves me 800% - that's a pretty big blessing too.
"...My soul is bowed down within me. But this I recall and therefore have I hope and expectation: It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness." Lam 3:20-23
I'm tired and I have a lot to do. I always have a lot to do. It's never all done. Is there such a thing as catching up when you have small children who faithfully obey the scientific law that things go from order to disorder. You feed me, I'll spit up or drop food in the floor and I'll poop later and let you know so you can change me, etc. I'm not complaining, just stating the facts. My dryer quit and I have a pile of laundry to haul over to my moms this afternoon. I was a good wife yesterday. I made blueberry muffins for breakfast, meat loaf, steamed carrots and salad for lunch, and some incredible chicken, rice & vegetable soup for dinner. I ran the dishwasher twice yesterday and already once this morning. I'm not tired of my life or my family. Not at all. I just want to be caught up. "...My soul is bowed down within me." I spent my morning at Wal-mart aka exhaustion. I'm sticking to the budget and bought cheaper coffee beans and they're gross.
On the BRIGHT side, my kids are WELL!! Alayna's still on antibiotics, and not sleeping well, but no snot! My husband might be able to fix the dryer without buying a new one. My mom lives right around the corner and doing laundry at her house might even be fun (she had good coffee ;D ). I have left-overs from yesterday so I don't have to cook tonight. What good is it if I get all caught up and miss out on water color painting, and smiles and jokes and creative, crazy kids? There are definitely days that I spend nap time running crazy to get everything accomplished that I possibly can, then there are days like today when I feel to the bone that His tender compassions fail not.
Uncle Tyler & Aunt Shannon - We are so excited to have a new uncle!
Angela & Amanda - my gorgeous sisters
Shannon with Riley & Claire - the little bell ringers
Ange, Manda, Shan & Me at the Rehearsal dinner
The bell ringers
Pierce just loves his mama - what can I say ... except that I have awful shoes on and If I put any more weight on these feet they just might break so go hold your daddy! Someone please invent some comfortable heels!
Shannon & Mom
Hudson in his fancy clothes.
Exploring the chapel vents!
Some serious dance moves.
sweet cousins - Hudson & Riley
Centerpieces - Yes, those are coffee beans - Love it!
Cakes - this is what my boys had for dinner ... and who let Hudson drink tea?!
Alayna & tired mamma
Well, we're all exhausted and glad to have the wonderful wedding celebration behind us. It was beautiful and fun and went off without a hitch, except for the Frederick bell ringer who would NOT walk down the aisle. Hudson tried to drag him, but to no avail. Ah, well.
We love Tyler and can't wait to see what the years ahead bring for he and Shannon. The boys favorite part of the evening was dancing. They were CRAZY. I had Martha with me for two days and I definitely recommend to anyone with three children and wedding festivities that you hire a good extra pair of hands - worth every penny. Thank you Marfa!
(PS. I stole all of these pictures from Kristi - thanks for being the photographer!)
I am the wife of an awesome man known to his friends as Fred :) The mom of four incredible kids, Hudson, Pierce, Alayna and Adelle. We homeschool and I teach a few classes at our local YMCA. Above all we love and worship Jesus Christ as Lord and this blog is a peek at our journey to raise children who delight in the Lord.